These past weeks, my beloved Daily Bleakon has been the site of debate on two significant issues, a surprise to me since I always assumed that, outside of the Sudoku, all anyone ever picked up a paper for was to promptly recycle it, fulfilling their daily quota of “I told you I wasn’t such a jerk, MOM” money pleas and/or “Yeah, I’m pretty into environmental awareness” pickup line related activities. But no! Feminism and grade changes have each been ripe for the ripping. I thought I’d address each in turn in a series of columns I call “This Friday’s Column and Next Friday’s Column.” So, without further...furtherosity...
When I think of feminism’s modern incarnation, I’m reminded of a common
criticism of psychotherapy.
For the sanity and/or denial inclined, when one engages in therapy, one is usually encouraged to share one’s “feelings.” No, this does not mean you are to describe the texture of the chair (although doing so is a clear indication of father issues, necessitating immediate medication). It does mean that you should focus upon what you feel, why you feel, how you feel and probably who you feel (if this latter is also a father issue, that chair thing earlier is probably the least of your worries).
The point is, it often just stops there. You vent and vent and vent and then, when your hour’s up, you walk out $100 poorer, unburdened and ready to repeat all your mistakes all over again (Although this time “father” may be substituted with “romantic partner,” unless the two are synonymous in which case ... find a better therapist).
As a proud recipient of various forms of therapy (Three months off the WoWahol, thank you), I can safely say that this stereotype of therapy is just that: a generalization based upon perceptions of those unfamiliar with the scope of the topic that very often does not reflect reality.
Similarly, feminism (and Christianity, for that matter) suffers from the same problem. Many people think of feminism as a bunch of unlovable harpies screeching at various people/institutions and finding fault in everything a (usually) white male does. As has been well articulated in various letters, this is hardly the case.
I am, amongst other things, a women’s studies major (a little known fact). And, as demonstrated by my penchant for pantslessosity, I am a male (a largely [pun intended?!] known fact). But believe me when I say, this isn’t just for tits and giggles. I firmly believe that, at its core, feminism is a wonderful idea, fundamentally asserting that people are equal regardless of sex.
However, as with therapy, there is some validity to the stereotype. Many therapists do indeed just focus on talking and talking, but neverchanging, learning and doing. And, similarly, many women do use feminism as an outlet for anger and a chance to feel like powerless, blameless victims. This is not to say their concerns are illegitimate or their emotions should be invalidated. What I am saying is that, ultimately, efficacy and change are what matter, not just temporary vindication and absolution.
Indeed, over the past one hundred years, feminists have made absolutely remarkable progress, too much to mention within this column. But it is feminism today that I take issue with. I personally believe that many modern feminists are failing women, but perhaps more importantly, failing men. Feminism has become more of a “women’s movement” than true “gender egalitarianism.” And it’s certainly not that women’s rights are bad. But as long as it’s framed as pro-women and not pro-equality, the discourse will remain that way. Men will continue to see feminism as a “front” in the “war of the sexes” instead of an inclusive movement that asserts equality.
For when it comes right down to it, it won’t really matter what legislation is passed or what becomes “politically correct” as long as people’s thoughts and actions are still colored by gender. And that’s what feminism needs to be about: encouraging voluntary changes in behavior and
perception. For both sexes. I think both sexes should be just as responsible for instigating relationships, proposing marriage and, yes, paying for dinner. I think both sexes should be able to have casual, fulfilling sex with the same social consideration (good or bad). I think both sexes should be able to display emotion of all varieties without stigma. And don’t even get me started
on equal opportunity pantslessness.
But to work towards these changes, I won’t propose legislation or yell at you. I’ll talk to you. I’ll model for you. And hopefully I’ll start changing your mind. Because I believe that only when the mind changes will the actions truly follow. At best, you change. And at worst, you think.
No comments:
Post a Comment