2.20

I have a confession to make that I'm not particularly proud of. No, it's not that the preceding sentence ended in a preposition (I am particularly proud of that). It's that, a couple of weeks ago, I happened to commit the cardinal sin amongst devoted cynics: I voted for a mainstream political candidate. Now, under certain circumstances, this might be understandable. Perhaps I was under the influence of various illicit substances (nothing says "kegger at my place!" like engaging in representative democracy). Perhaps I was coerced by insidious voting machine technologies into choosing a candidate. Hell, perhaps I was being ironic ("Hey, guys, I'm voting for Mitt Romney! I'm a rebel!" It's funny cause you're a jackass).

Alas, no. I was of relatively sound mind and body, sober, sincere, and one might even say enthused (if one was so inanely inclined). As much as I want to, and the desire is as fierce as a badger in a blender, I have no one to blame but myself: I voted for Barack Obama.

I know, I know! Kucinich or Ron Paul would have suited my sensibilities ever so much more, primarily because they are both magical creatures who thrive on dreams and wishes (not unlike English Majors, sans magic... and elected offices). Or, at the very least, I should have abstained and spent the minute thirty seconds doing something infinitely more productive, like sanctimoniously mocking all the ignorant sheep who dared bow to their corporate overlords before getting bored and picking at my belly button lint.

But no. And I don't write to "endorse" Obama or what not. It's far too late for that, and that's part of the reason I haven't mentioned it til now. I bring it up because I think it says something not just about cynicism, but about America, that I, and so many like me, not only voted for a candidate based upon personality and a message of "hope" and "change," but did so knowing that's why we were voting and not regretting it afterwards. It's not like we thought we were hitting on a cute, dark-haired indie girl with relatively obscure yet unassuming music tastes, got sloshed and woke up next to a fat guy in a miniskirt with carebear tattoos and a notarized marriage statement. No. We voted, and we liked it, damn it!

But why? Specifically, why do so many people who should "know better" still drink the kool aid and vote, particularly for candidates who really do focus upon vague messages instead of finite ideas/issues (ie, practically all of them)?

Well, for one thing, as much as I hate to admit it, people, in general, aren't as dumb as they're oft made out to be. I'd like to say I was cynical before cynical was "cool," but that's just silly. People have caught on, are catching on, and will catch on to the various tomfooleries, shenanigans, and bamboozlements our media, politicians, and similarly "integrity inhibited" institutions perpetuate. Not nearly all of them, and not to the extent I'd prefer, of course, but we're hardly all mindless, lockstep consumers.

In fact, what so many "liberal" professors assume is not true: we're not cattle waiting to be "enlightened" by our gracious, intellectual benefactors. We know we're being manipulated. We're suspicious. We're on to their games! But, nevertheless, we also want more than we've got. We want that hope, that promise for change, especially when it seems almost, almost as if it could be real. Even the cynics (especially the cynics) know that one cannot change the world through constant criticism. It takes positive action. The main hurdle is, of course, what the action is and who will take it.

I honestly don't know if Obama's the one who knows the actions and will take them. I'll reevaluate come November. But I do know that somebody has to. "Yes We Can" is one of Obama's themes, and perhaps that's what's so inspiring. Not that he can make a difference, but that we can make a difference. We can do for our country instead of having it done for (or to) us.

We cynics will be the first to say that what's happened/happening in our country/world is our own damned faults. But what many of us begrudgingly believe is that it's also ours to fix. It just has to be pried out of us. Obama's proven it's still possible to energize. Now someone (anyone) has to prove it's possible to direct that energy towards something better. Of course, I'll believe it when I see it. But that doesn't mean I won't keep looking.