Column 22

Well, it's happened again: I've lost another election. Despite my hard hour of campaigning and the massive publicity blitz consisting primarily of one “THROW OFF THE JEANS OF INJUSTICE AND LET THE BARE TRUTH RUN FREE” streak through Presidential Courtyard at approximately 3:42AM Tuesday night, I didn't even manage to beat that hippie in loser's clothing Brian May. Fortunately someone else did it for me, but the fact remains: there is no longer even the slightest threat of me becoming an elected official within the immediately foreseeable future. My crest is not only fallen, it's practically subterranean.

And I'm not alone. Due to the ever so harsh reality of mathematics and good old fashioned American underachievement, I join the ranks of illustrious individuals such as Eugene Debs, Ross Perot, John Papaik, and Ralph Nader as an also ran that got run over.

However, unlike Russia where the losers of elections are set on fire, disemboweled, and fed to mutated grizzly bears, losers in America get to not only survive, but can grow old/fat, dress in women's clothing, kill strippers with impunity, and/or win Nobel Prizes doing it (¾ ain't bad, just ask ole Jimmy Carter!).

But they can also continue to raise their voices and support the causes they believe in while monitoring the current administration. An idea doesn't die upon an electoral defeat. In fact, I'd suggest that many of the good (particularly attainable) ideas brought up by all the campaigns should be attempted to be implemented by the new SGA, regardless of “party.” And if it doesn't happen this year, next year's only a matter of months away!

Now, I know what you're thinking: “I say old boy, for Gandhi's sake, stop all this goddamn nonsense about the SGA before I verily pop a cap on thy posterior. It's hard enough to not care about genocides, school work, and legal sobriety levels, much less misrepresentative student government.” And, believe me, I feel your pain. Not only will this mark my third column addressing the infamous institution this semester, I do believe if I had a dollar for every mention of “SGA” during the past week in The Daily Bleakon, I would have, like, two dollars, at least. And change!

Or will I? I suggest that all of us, not just the campaigners, continue to pay attention to the SGA. Next to this humble little paper before you, for better or worse, the SGA still best represents the voice of students to the administration. If you have a problem, bring it to them. If they can't/don't/won't help, don't forget about it: make it vocal. Write the Beacon, contact more senators, engage in a campaign of your own next year. In other words, care.

Because, as the platitude goes, “all politics is local.” Think about the inefficacy and disgust you very likely feel regarding “politics as usual” on a national level. Do all the fabricated fluff issues, incessant superficiality, massive monetary expenditures, processed candidates, etc make you as mad as they make me? I certainly think they should. But these aren't large, unstoppable problems. They originate right here.

For instance, if my information's straight, last year's SGA spending cap was $5000. This year's was raised to $10000. That's almost two years tuition. Were the throngs of T-shirts necessary? Were the barbeques? Were the drink cozies, the cups, the banners, and everything else bought and now never used again worth it? Did they promote tangible issues? Were they needed to win? I'd say a string of no's followed by one resigned yes. We could have awarded at least five quality scholarships with the money thrown away. Just like the millions tossed out during our national elections could be used on healthcare, education, you name it. Size aside, the distinction is, we (the students) have the real ability to change SGA. We can set an example. That responsibility doesn't stop with election week. Here's hoping the will to change won't either.